AS A GAL who struggles with patience and is permanently time poor, I never paint my nails or do them myself.
Why would I set myself up to fail like that?
I resigned myself to a life of plain, bitten nails, occasionally drenched in Stop ‘N’ Grow in a last ditch attempt to get me to stop ruining my life.
Then, for my graduation, I decided to splash out, and get the fully monty – holographic, acrylic, whatever they could stick on my nail to make me fancy, I wanted it.
Since that day, I’ve become a monthly slave to my nail tech. From a gal who thought an emery board had something to do with computers, to someone who feels bald without claws, it’s been quite the transition.
With this new found addiction, however, comes a whole host of other issues …
1. When they break.
“Don’t cry for me Argentina … ”
2. When you’re due a refill but you can’t afford it/don’t have time …
And all you can see is the gap. You see it when you go to sleep. You see it when you wake up. It never leaves you.
3. Trying to bring your nails back from the dead after
Weaker than your granny’s cup of tea.
4. The sound of that motorised nail file.
Pls no.
5. Panicking when asked what shape you’d like
Nothing like a last minute change from ‘square’ to ‘almond’ to show this woman you see once a month that you have commitment issues.
6. … Or ultimately picking one that’s completely impractical.
Stiletto style? You work in an office, Janet, what were you thinking?!
7. Yeah, try typing/opening anything with those bad boys.
Every day, thousands of cans of Diet Coke are abandoned in fear of breaking a nail.
8. The clipper thing that trims the nail.
WHAT IF IT SLIPS AND MY WHOLE FINGER GOES WITH IT?!
9. When you smudge the gel and your nail tech has to do it again.
10. Picking a colour that’s neutral enough that it will go with anything but also won’t be boring.
*mentally visualises outfits for the next six weeks*
11. The fact that you practically have to remortgage your house every month to get them done.
You’ve been shafted by GroupOn deals before. You won’t do it again. Even if it means paying an arm and a leg … And two hands …
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